'alice in wonderland'... wonderless

ok, so i'm a bit of an avid movie-goer.

problem is, during the semester (especially this one (19 credit hours(*WTF!?))) i only get to the local silver screen so often...

NOW! of course when i do get out, there's a lot riding on it. so my opinions get inflated-- ie. a 6 will become a 3, a 9 will get cranked to 11, and so on; in case you're confused: sadness always magnifies at a higher rate than enlightenment..

so we up to speed? good. here's the story/review/thing-a-ma-bob:

went and saw 'alice in wonderland' with the lady over break. now, i don't find the title of this post to be particularly deceiving (or clever for that matter) so i'm sure you all figured out that i didn't dig it.

it was ho-hum at best, a 5 out of 10...

BUT! it's only the 2nd movie i've been able to see this semester, so i'm giving it a 2.25 out of 15 (don't ask me to explain that rating!!). yes, the graphics were fun. yes, all the old cats we've adored for all these years were back. helena bonham carter was fantastic. however, the story was presented with no real... gusto? care? love? particular excitement? i don't know-- it just wasn't very good.

depp was shitty, and had far too much screen time. hathaway had angry caterpillars on her face. the 3d effects were underwhelming. the climax was unengaging (apparently not a real word. who knew?). the last 5 minutes were preposterous. and the billing as a "sequel" was a complete farce!

2/3rds through, alice glances about and says "oh, wait-- i HAVE been here before!"... this is followed by a 2 minute flashback in which we see young alice hanging out... THAT'S IT!??! **WTF!!! no offense burton, but that doesn't really qualify! for the love of god, rediscover whatever it is you had back in the 80s. because your past few efforts are shit.

as always, if you enjoyed it-- that's swell! but i didn't.

thankfully my lovely g/f paid cuz i'm a bum :-]

* an acronym, in the parlance of our times, that translates as "what the fuck" :)

** once again, translates as "what the fuck" (but with more energy)